1. Tap into tradition.
Whether it's eating dinner together, observing birthdays and holidays, or reading bedtime stories every night, nothing is more valuable to your family than establishing rituals and traditions, says William Doherty, PhD, author of Take Back Your Kids: Confident Parenting in Turbulent Times (Sorin Books, 2000). Capital-T traditions -- lighting Sabbath candles or making Christmas cookies from a recipe passed down from your great-grandmother -- are important because they lend meaning to your child's life, reinforcing the bonds among family members and anchoring her to something beyond the purely temporal. Equally precious, however, are the small, seemingly inconsequential customs and rituals that are unique to your immediate family -- the fact that you order Chinese food on Friday nights, say, or compose a funny poem for your child's first day of school each year. The familiarity and predictability of these routines make a child feel safe.
2. Say it with a song.
Claims that listening to classical music will make your child smarter are greatly exaggerated, but there is no doubt about music's mood-altering qualities. In ancient times, music and musical instruments were believed to have powers that healed both the body and the mind. In modern times, countless teachers have documented the therapeutic effects of song (in one 1996 study at the University Hospitals of Cleveland, children who listened to "I've Been Working on the Railroad" while getting an inoculation felt less pain than those who didn't have music played for them). And most of us know from everyday experience that a great song lifts our spirits and eases stress. After all, it's pretty hard to be in a bad mood during a rollicking rendition of "Old McDonald Had a Farm," especially if the whole family joins in.
3. Be community minded.
Active participation in your community sends at least two important messages to your child. When you coach a Little League team, for example, or pitch in at your preschool's fund-raiser, your child realizes that what matters to her matters to you. And that gives her confidence a powerful boost. But on an even more fundamental level, your involvement underscores the value of community itself. It makes kids feel that they are part of a larger whole, and that individuals can affect others in a positive way. Not surprisingly, research has also found a strong correlation between altruism and happiness, so why not get your child involved in helping others? Take her along when you volunteer at a local soup kitchen, or join in a neighborhood cleanup. Even young kids can discover the satisfaction of giving back.
4. Curb your cynicism.
We live in an age of ironic detachment, so you may not always be aware of the corrosive effect your flip comments have on your child. Yet a cynical attitude can take a huge toll on your child's sense of security, a crucial component of happiness. Kids need to believe that the world is a good place and that people are basically decent. Never mind that you have concluded that your child's teacher is an idiot or that your elected officials are incompetent. When you voice these opinions, you undermine your child's faith in the people and the institutions around her. As a result, she may begin to view the world as a scary place.
5. Encourage your child's passions.
Happiness researchers agree that being truly absorbed in a challenging task is perhaps the surest route to happiness. Being completely caught up in an activity can be achieved through all sorts of endeavors, from stamp collecting to painting to automobile repair. That's why it's important to expose your child to a wide range of experiences to see what appeals to him. This is not, we hasten to point out, an endorsement of the frantic overscheduling that has befallen so many children. The idea is to make your child aware of all that's available, allowing him to gravitate toward one or two pursuits that are meaningful to him. Even if your child throws his intellectual and creative energy into what will almost certainly be a passing fancy -- collecting Pokemon cards, for instance, or playing basketball morning, noon, and night -- the ability to totally immerse himself in an activity he loves will give him a leg up on happiness throughout his life.
6. Raise a nature kid.
In today's high-tech world, most of us don't take enough time to enjoy Mother Nature. Yet an appreciation of the natural world, with its dazzling array of everyday miracles, nourishes us in innumerable ways. Nature engages all of a child's senses, encourages reflection and acute observation, and helps stimulate the recognition of a just and purposeful existence, says Colleen Cordes, a founder of the Alliance for Childhood based in Takoma Park, Maryland. In other words, the inherent order we see in nature gives rise to a similar feeling in us. The certainty that each year the snow will melt and make way for crocuses, and that the green leaves of summer will deepen into orange and brown, provides a vital antidote to the frenetic, high-tech world most of us inhabit.
7. Bring home a four-legged friend.
Deciding whether to get a pet can be tough for parents: The commitment of time and energy is huge and (your child's assurances to the contrary) most of the pet care will end up being your responsibility. Still, there's convincing evidence that taking it on is worth the effort. According to Gail F. Melson, author of Why the Wild Things Are: Animals in the Lives of Children (Harvard University Press, 2001), pets often provide reassurance when kids are worried and afraid. And kids absorb crucial lessons about empathy, loyalty, and attachment from the animals they love. Through nurturing pets and investing emotionally in them, children learn to care for and look after others, says Melson. In addition, pets make children feel valued and competent. Remember that a pet doesn't have to be a dog or a cat; guinea pigs, rabbits, and even small reptiles make lovely and relatively low-maintenance pets. If a pet is out of the question, your child can still get exposure to animals through visits to a zoo or nature center.
8. Make your house a home.
The advice to sharpen your housekeeping skills may seem trivial, but maintaining a pleasant domestic environment for your children is more important than you might think. If your house is disorganized or messy, kids are less likely to want to have friends over. Keeping things neat and in place give kids a feeling of peace and contentment. However, you don't want to turn into a compulsive neat-freak. Comfort is a big part of happiness, and kids need to feel free to run, jump, get dirty, and be occasional slobs in their own homes -- by themselves and with their playmates.
9. Serve happy meals.
As adults, most of us are aware that eating healthily, under pleasant, unhurried conditions, makes us feel better in both body and spirit. Children, though, rarely have that much insight into themselves. That's why it's up to parents to make mealtime a positive experience from an early age. That means turning off the TV, sitting down together as a family, and eating nutritious foods. The difference in kids' dispositions (not to mention their health) can be dramatic. In February 2003, ABC's Good Morning America reported on a secondary school in Appleton, Wisconsin, that saw its discipline problems plummet after it overhauled its lunchtime routine. Round tables replaced the standard rectangular ones in the cafeteria to create a more relaxed, convivial atmosphere, and the menu began featuring fresh fruits and vegetables, whole-grain breads, and additive-free entrees instead of the standard pizza, soda, fries, and vending-machine junk. To the amazement of the school's principal, discipline and behavioral problems decreased dramatically after the new program was introduced. Just imagine how your kids will benefit if you do this same thing at home.
10. Get physical.
This advice cuts two ways. First, show your children lots of physical affection: hugs, kisses, back rubs, tummy tickles. Apart from demonstrating that you're crazy about them, touch has the power to relieve stress and elevate mood. Second, you get your kids moving. Whether it's because strenuous activity releases feel-good brain chemicals such as endorphins (as one of the most popular theories maintains) or simply because meeting a physical challenge confers a positive feeling of achievement, a mountain of research has established a link between regular exercise and psychological well-being. In addition, children who are physically fit have a more positive body image than those who are sedentary. Finally, it's just plain fun for kids to run, jump, swim, ride bikes, and play ball -- ideally, with you joining in. After all, isn't having fun the most basic definition of happiness?
The information on this Web site is designed for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for informed medical advice or care. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illnesses without consulting your pediatrician or family doctor. Please consult a doctor with any questions or concerns you might have regarding your or your child's condition.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Woman with confidence
1. Make a great entrance
"For a truly graceful entrance, check your self-consciousness at the door. There is an ease that comes from being comfortable in your own skin. Hesitation can mar even the most elegant premiere. If you don't know a soul, head toward a person near the back of the room. Chances are you'll find a friendly face along the way." --Nancy Friday, author of Our Looks, Our Lives
2. Work the room
"You first must learn to overcome mingle-phobia. Psych yourself up to enter a room. Then make your move. If you don't know anyone at the gathering, walk up to a group, smile widely, introduce yourself and say: 'I don't know a soul at this party. Can I join you guys?' This usually gets a warm, sympathetic reception, and people chat you up immediately." --Miss Mingle (a.k.a. Jeanne Martinet), author of The Art of Mingling
3. Recover gracefully
"If you forget someone's name: Remember that this kind of thing happens to people all the time, confident or not, so don't be too embarrassed. First, admit to forgetting the person's name. Second, slap the palm of your hand to your forehead in mock horror and say, 'I can't even remember my own mother's name!' At this point, the other person will surely remind you of their name. Then simply say, 'I promise never to forget it again,' and move on."--Etiquette expert Letitia Baldrige, author of Letitia Baldrige's Complete Guide to the New Manners for the '90s
4. Tell a great story
"Avoid phrasing your story as a joke. People think when they tell stories they have to get to a punch line, but punch lines are not in themselves amusing. You should have a deep personal interest or investment in your story -- it should be either profoundly moving or profoundly funny. The story needn't have happened to the storyteller, so long as the storyteller is also deeply moved by what she's recounting. Remember which details are important. Gesturing is fine so long as it comes about naturally, but a good story well told and full of conviction needs little adornment. The words are what's most important."--Malachy McCourt, author of A Monk Swimming
5. Stay calm
"If you have a lot of nervous energy you need to get rid of, do a quick burst of aerobic activity, like jumping jacks. Then get focused. Find a quiet spot to be alone and take a few breaths before you walk into the room. Then take another slow, relaxing breath once you've entered and taken your place in front of everyone. You won't lose their attention -- when you're standing right in front of them, that's impossible. Then smile. People buy things from and listen to people who smile at them."--Valerie Adami, director of programming at Weist-Barron School of Television Acting in New York
6. Ask for a raise
"Casually say to your boss at the start of the day, 'I'd love a minute of your time today,' letting him or her choose when you will meet. When you're face-to-face say, 'I really enjoy this job and working for you' and list the specific contributions you've made recently. Then take the plunge: 'Do you think you might consider giving me a raise?' Don't speak in specific numbers unless asked. End the conversation with 'Please don't feel pressure to answer right away.' This lets your boss feel in control and perhaps especially generous when she offers you that raise in a couple of days' time."--Lauren Wiesenthal, partner at the New York legal search consulting firm Corrao, Miller, Rush, and Wiesenthal
7. Be a good haggler
"The key to getting a fair deal is to first do your homework. Pick up an issue of Consumer Reports, talk to friends, look for any information that will give you the inside scoop on what the item you want really is. Always ask for a little more or offer a little less than your limit. If you have doubts, take a night to think it over."--Michael Donaldson, author of Negotiating for Dummies
8. Overcome fear
"Fear is a lot like pain -- it's your guide to pinpointing what's bothering you. After I blew out my knee in a crash while training for a competition, jumps scared me, so I had to learn to replace my fear with a strategy. The best way I've found is to rehearse the situation in your head and mentally walk your way up to the point where you feel the fear most intensely. Next, shift to something very calming (for me, it's a beach at sunset) and as you do a mental run-through, breathe out, physically relaxing your body. Then imagine yourself going through the motions flawlessly while your body and mind are relaxed. In essence, you're conditioning your mind to replace fear with success."--Picabo Street, Olympic skiing champion
9. Don't be intimidated
"Stop all the negative thoughts in your head, then visualize yourself pushing the other person 100 feet away from you. Imagine him or her as being very small and in black and white. This will immediately reverse any feeling of inferiority. Once you've mentally laid the groundwork, you want to be the first person to say something so that the conversation is in your control. Don't say anything competitive or defensive; instead, ask something personal like 'How is your family?' Be sincere and it will probably throw off the other person's power-tripping ways."--Anankha K. Chandler, certified hypnotherapist and author of Therapist in a Box: Emotional Healing
10. Tell a joke
"Never announce that you're about to tell a joke; it sets expectations too high and there's a better chance you'll fall flat. The joke should stem naturally from the conversation, so that people get sucked in before they even know you're telling it. Whether you're telling something that happened to a friend or something that happened last month, always say something like 'on the way over here' instead and make them believe it just happened to you. People will get more emotionally invested when it's more immediate. If your joke brings the house down, don't press your luck with another one. Always leave them wanting a little bit more."--Tom Hertz, comedian and Emmy Award-winning writer for Dennis Miller Live
"For a truly graceful entrance, check your self-consciousness at the door. There is an ease that comes from being comfortable in your own skin. Hesitation can mar even the most elegant premiere. If you don't know a soul, head toward a person near the back of the room. Chances are you'll find a friendly face along the way." --Nancy Friday, author of Our Looks, Our Lives
2. Work the room
"You first must learn to overcome mingle-phobia. Psych yourself up to enter a room. Then make your move. If you don't know anyone at the gathering, walk up to a group, smile widely, introduce yourself and say: 'I don't know a soul at this party. Can I join you guys?' This usually gets a warm, sympathetic reception, and people chat you up immediately." --Miss Mingle (a.k.a. Jeanne Martinet), author of The Art of Mingling
3. Recover gracefully
"If you forget someone's name: Remember that this kind of thing happens to people all the time, confident or not, so don't be too embarrassed. First, admit to forgetting the person's name. Second, slap the palm of your hand to your forehead in mock horror and say, 'I can't even remember my own mother's name!' At this point, the other person will surely remind you of their name. Then simply say, 'I promise never to forget it again,' and move on."--Etiquette expert Letitia Baldrige, author of Letitia Baldrige's Complete Guide to the New Manners for the '90s
4. Tell a great story
"Avoid phrasing your story as a joke. People think when they tell stories they have to get to a punch line, but punch lines are not in themselves amusing. You should have a deep personal interest or investment in your story -- it should be either profoundly moving or profoundly funny. The story needn't have happened to the storyteller, so long as the storyteller is also deeply moved by what she's recounting. Remember which details are important. Gesturing is fine so long as it comes about naturally, but a good story well told and full of conviction needs little adornment. The words are what's most important."--Malachy McCourt, author of A Monk Swimming
5. Stay calm
"If you have a lot of nervous energy you need to get rid of, do a quick burst of aerobic activity, like jumping jacks. Then get focused. Find a quiet spot to be alone and take a few breaths before you walk into the room. Then take another slow, relaxing breath once you've entered and taken your place in front of everyone. You won't lose their attention -- when you're standing right in front of them, that's impossible. Then smile. People buy things from and listen to people who smile at them."--Valerie Adami, director of programming at Weist-Barron School of Television Acting in New York
6. Ask for a raise
"Casually say to your boss at the start of the day, 'I'd love a minute of your time today,' letting him or her choose when you will meet. When you're face-to-face say, 'I really enjoy this job and working for you' and list the specific contributions you've made recently. Then take the plunge: 'Do you think you might consider giving me a raise?' Don't speak in specific numbers unless asked. End the conversation with 'Please don't feel pressure to answer right away.' This lets your boss feel in control and perhaps especially generous when she offers you that raise in a couple of days' time."--Lauren Wiesenthal, partner at the New York legal search consulting firm Corrao, Miller, Rush, and Wiesenthal
7. Be a good haggler
"The key to getting a fair deal is to first do your homework. Pick up an issue of Consumer Reports, talk to friends, look for any information that will give you the inside scoop on what the item you want really is. Always ask for a little more or offer a little less than your limit. If you have doubts, take a night to think it over."--Michael Donaldson, author of Negotiating for Dummies
8. Overcome fear
"Fear is a lot like pain -- it's your guide to pinpointing what's bothering you. After I blew out my knee in a crash while training for a competition, jumps scared me, so I had to learn to replace my fear with a strategy. The best way I've found is to rehearse the situation in your head and mentally walk your way up to the point where you feel the fear most intensely. Next, shift to something very calming (for me, it's a beach at sunset) and as you do a mental run-through, breathe out, physically relaxing your body. Then imagine yourself going through the motions flawlessly while your body and mind are relaxed. In essence, you're conditioning your mind to replace fear with success."--Picabo Street, Olympic skiing champion
9. Don't be intimidated
"Stop all the negative thoughts in your head, then visualize yourself pushing the other person 100 feet away from you. Imagine him or her as being very small and in black and white. This will immediately reverse any feeling of inferiority. Once you've mentally laid the groundwork, you want to be the first person to say something so that the conversation is in your control. Don't say anything competitive or defensive; instead, ask something personal like 'How is your family?' Be sincere and it will probably throw off the other person's power-tripping ways."--Anankha K. Chandler, certified hypnotherapist and author of Therapist in a Box: Emotional Healing
10. Tell a joke
"Never announce that you're about to tell a joke; it sets expectations too high and there's a better chance you'll fall flat. The joke should stem naturally from the conversation, so that people get sucked in before they even know you're telling it. Whether you're telling something that happened to a friend or something that happened last month, always say something like 'on the way over here' instead and make them believe it just happened to you. People will get more emotionally invested when it's more immediate. If your joke brings the house down, don't press your luck with another one. Always leave them wanting a little bit more."--Tom Hertz, comedian and Emmy Award-winning writer for Dennis Miller Live
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
If i ever
have children...I would love to have pictures like this. I really like this picture of Madonna and Lourdes.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Women-stuff
The female sex hormone oestrogen prevents the growth of facial bone, reduces the size of the nose and chin, and leads to large eyes, increased thickness of lips and fat deposition in the cheek area, along with hips and buttocks, features that announce that a woman is fertile.
Typical female face with high (left) and low (right) oestrogen levels
Typical female face with high (left) and low (right) oestrogen levels
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
